Stagnation or Changing
Diary Entry: The unique
There was a time when I was not so very brave; in fact, on occasion I still get that way. In fact, if anything, once I would most likely have been deemed somewhat a coward. Having anxiety most of my life was not the only reason for this behaviour, in which I would try to hide myself away. There was simply so much out there that I could not understand, nor could seem to get even the slightest glimpse of insight into the understanding of. It felt as though I was a sheep in a wolves' world.
When I was young, my family and I were blessed to know many native Australian aborigines, including a few elders. We went to church with several and were honoured to call them family friends. My father, on the rare occasion, had lively debates with one in particular; who we all dearly loved as he was such a very kind and virtuous man. One elder one day, clearly noticing my discomfort in myself and my awkwardness in behaviour, made deliberate effort to speak to me. When this 'Auntie' (as they often are called) spoke to me she pointedly held my attention by getting right into my face so that her nose near touched mine.
"You have great purpose here," she said. "You are chosen. You can't stop until it is all done."
What she said to me, I carry with me and remind myself of it every so often... actually, more so, it is reminded TO me in unusual ways. More than one of my children have had such experiences too; one so intensely that the elder - in an open park near a library in Cairns, Australia - near tears, asked if he could hug my daughter who he felt was blessed.
There have been times when I actually tried to physically harm to myself as I felt so lost amongst the noise of others, but I am still here. Once, in the dark, I felt around for a knife in a kitchen drawer, and as God (or whoever you deem equal) is my witness, I could not find one (I kept picking up spoons)... yet in the morning, when my emotions had abated somewhat, the drawer had plenty of knives in it. Had my hand been stayed? Or had I stayed my hand? Psychological verses spiritual.
Once, at a point, when I was down yet not suicidal, I stepped outside. I felt at one of the lowest points in my life, but something in me kept me trudging along. As I walked up my steep drive to meet with a bus that would be dropping my daughter (close to five years old) off, a bird - a wild turtle dove - landed on my back. Just then the bus pulled up. In shock, near horror, I had dropped to my knees as the turtle dove stood on my back with its' wing outstretched. I could hardly move in fear as my knees that were scratched terribly on the cement drive, bled. My daughter stepped off the bus at that point and giggled as the bird, finally, flew away.
"Mummy," she said, "You looked like an angel with wings."
I thought about it later, having calmed down. What had been a shocking experience for myself, had been seen by my young daughter as a beautiful one. Yet, it was the same experience... just seen from a different angle and felt FROM a different mindset. I had been brought to my knees... by a bird... and raised in thinking by a five year old. It reminded me, evermore, of the words that 'Auntie' had said.
Each experience is unique... precious... perfect. Maybe 'Auntie' had seen that I needed that reminder; a reminder that could be told to me in such a way that I would remember for all my life. Maybe her words given to me, implanted into me - psychologically - the words that would save me from myself at certain points in my life and give me the power to feel emboldened at other points to succeed or keep going UNTIL I succeeded. Yet, in truth, I believed her... and still believe her.
Perhaps that is all we need. Someone to say the words and for us to believe them. To tell us that we have purpose and each of us is unique... and for those words to be absolutely believed by the one hearing them. To remind us of our worth. That there is within each of us, a being so bold and fixedly strong, flexible and unlimited that it could move mountains if it wanted to.
I challenge each who read this, to try and build up someone else in the same way that this wonderful woman did for me. Remind another of their worth and they have purpose. Tell them, that they are unique and that you, absolutely, believe that they have something great to do in this life. Believe it yourself and then stand back and watch the wonders that they will do. Build others, for they ARE unique and have purpose, just as you do.
Image from pixabay.com/
Diary Time. 30 April, 2019
Captivated by this or that; cyber-land distractions. Follow this or that. Dress this way. Talk that way. Think like 'us'.
With all of the dictation as to how to look, dress, think and feel - What elements are there left for the individual to be (actually) individual? If everyone's personality and life is directed for them by what role is given to them by OTHERS, who is the one that gets to tell the OTHERS their role?
In-other-words, who gets to program the programmer?
Life in cyber-land as a personality is a lot fake, falsity and gossip. The real person is not known by the outsiders and neither is their innermost feelings, thoughts or understanding. There is something in social media platforms like Twitter, Facebook and Instagram that give a false sense of closeness to the celebrity for the fan... yet it is still through a glass box that these personalities are perceived. It is the same glass box through which others judge and cast opinion upon the unknown.
It is through speculation, false claims and (quite a lot of) made up propaganda that some trends come into being. There is also the fear of 'missing out' or 'not being included' that cause oh so many to follow foolish, even sometimes detrimental trends, fashions, diets and ideals.
For all those out there on the WEB, there are as many thoughts on what is the right way to be and do most anything. For one cyber-bully that is pro something, there will be at least one that will cyber-bully against that same something.
Has not one been judged for a joke that may have been taken the wrong way? In return, has not one judged another for words said that may have been taken the wrong way?
It is rare that anyone actually goes out of their way to hurt another, or to get them angry/upset. Usually, it is misinterpretation or miscommunication that has caused the negative understanding. This is not to say that there are not any negative people out there, but surely it is not their Divine-Nature which is negative. Surely, a negative person is simply the building of many negative situations - one upon the other - which builds a negative behavioural pattern; therein, the person is merely shrouded in a negative covering which hides the underside of the inner divinity. Like anything that is covered over, it often difficult to SEE what is really underneath. The thicker the covering, the more difficult it is to know what is hidden underneath - and yet the True-Being is still there within.
Perhaps, it is time to stop concerning the self with judgement of others. The program designer for one's life can be oneself. Let those caught in the Matrix of confusion, judgement and despair continue with their own illusion until they, too, consider it never-ending and open their minds to change. It was Marcus Aurelius that said, "The universe is change; our life is what our thoughts make it," nearly two thousand years ago and still we are learning this truth.
Sometimes, it is like the shadow of something lingers that reminds us that we are not quite where we would like to be. Sometimes, it is that someone says something that reminds us what we were once like. Sometimes, it is the vague (or great ripping feeling) that we are just not where we are meant to be, not quite what we expected ourselves to be or not quite like everyone else.
Why is this that we all... I mean, literally, everyone at some stage (if not continually)... Why is it that we all feel like the proverbial 'odd one out'.
The realisation that we all feel like the odd one out, makes us (really) ALL 'odd out'; therein, none of us really are at all. We are merely individualised expressions of nature/the great universe. Our individual oddness builds an ever evolving society which is ever evolving toward betterment.
Argue with this? That is your choice. I would say to you, 'does not life ever perfect itself to survive/thrive in the worldly situations that it is in.' Even bacteria evolves. If bacteria produces slightly different replications of itself in order to 'benefit' the continuance of its type - as it does for more complex forms as well - why would not the world/universe do that also in the case of humanity? Does that not mean that there is a reason for our very existence? Could that not be the reason for EACH persons individuality; this 'odd one out' idea being? Could it be that the evolution of US, as a species, need each and every oddity in order to create perfection?